I recently read an article that claimed a successful marriage is dependent on age. If you were married young (18-22), I am sorry to say, but your marriage falls into the high percentage of the divorce category. Really?
The three main reasons were, Firstly, you are not financially stable. Believe it or not but financial issues sit on top of a couples bickering list, yes it was once on our bickering-to-do list, but not so much anymore. My husband and I were both studying in our first year of marriage. It was my final year in Law school and my husband was only just starting. Yep, we were definitely on a tight budget but we were stable and happy. We were stable because we lived within our means and refused to incur any debt. And we were happy because we were doing it together. We accepted our temporary living because we knew it was not our financial destination.
I’m not going to lie, there were times where I would let out a few complaints, but I would take a Slice of humble pie and my husband would remind me of what was awaiting us in the future. I learnt to be grateful for what my husband and I was trying to do for each other and our future family. I’ve enjoyed every bit of our journey together to financial stability. I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
Secondly, you do not have enough life experiences to make wise decisions in a marriage. Personally, this is the WORST advice given in human history! You do not have to experience everything to be a better person. There is already enough people making these choices and experiencing the consequences. Experiences definitely does stretch us but if there is a bumpy road that can be avoided, avoid it.
We don’t have to go down every experimental road to have a successful marriage. But we can observe and learn from the people around us and choose the better road. No one is perfect, we learn as we go. And who better to do the learning process with than our spouse.
Thirdly, you are still figuring yourself out… I was married a month after I turned 21, my husband was 21 also. Yep, my marriage slots into the future divorce bracket too. But I refuse to let age determine the success of my marriage. Personally, 21 years was a lot of time for me to figure myself out, who I am, what I stand for and what I want to do with my life. Did I have everything figured out? Nope. To this very day I continue to find out more about myself. I just discovered a few weeks ago that I love leeks! I continue to learn what my likes and dislikes are, what I am capable of, where my potential lie and how far my reach is, it is endless. I have come to the realization that my better self is unfolded and is understood immensely since being married.
The recipe for a successful marriage contains only one important ingredient and that is the person you marry.
A successful marriage is about finding the right person and being the right person. Surprisingly that special person will unlock the doors of opportunities, dreams and capabilities that you were relatively unaware of. I find that my husband is the one person that continues to love me especially when I forget to love myself. And that is not even a quarter of what makes my marriage blossom. We are not perfect. We are normal people who choose love, forgiveness and marriage.
I know a lot of people, friends and family who were married in this age bracket and their marriage is nothing but happiness, filled with loved children and happy grandchildren. These generations of good fruits were not by luck or beating the odds of being “married young”. It was simply because they were two good people who chose to conduct a marriage of love and devotion to each other. It is the two people in the marriage who decides if they will have a good and lasting marriage, not their age. If this is you, don’t let age determine your happy future.