Raising our daughters is a life changing experience for my husband and I. We planned our family around the need for a mother in the home so we could provide a balance for our children. While T’s role is to preside, provide and protect our family, I am to nurture our children. I care for them, encourage, and stimulate their minds so they can make wise decisions as they go forward in life.
As a mother, there has been a maternal instinct to protect and hover over them like a rescue helicopter (my husband is worse). This hovering can be paralyzing to a certain degree as they grow into teenagers and adults. I don’t want that. To avoid it, I listed a few attitudes, values and skills of resilience to raise my daughters with firmness and confidence.
Here is a count down of the top 10 vital traits and values I will teach and instill in my daughters’ everyday lives:
10. Self – confidence: Admittedly in my teenage years, I once felt like the scum of the earth because I supposedly had no talents and my hair was too long. Gosh, being a teenager was sooo… hard! I’d happily go back and slap my teenage self in the face and dig up all the positive attitudes and talents that were buried under insecurities and paranoia. I don’t want this for my daughters. Rather, I will encourage them to possess healthy feelings of self-worth. Help them to understand their identity. Prompt them to believe in themselves and remind them they can make a difference in this world. Self-confidence will allow them to make wise choices and good judgement.
9. I love you: The three vital words that must be said in the home every day, “I Love You”. There is nothing more encouraging than to hear a parent express his/her love to their child. I love it even more when I hear it back from my angels. It forms trust, loyalty and safety.
8. Communicate: Although my daughters are only young, I try my best to sit and have a proper conversation with them. Their attention span counts in seconds, I’d be lucky to get 30 seconds of their time before they start fiddling with their fingers or toys. Taking time to communicate with them builds their confidence to speak to their mommy about anything. This will be very handy in their teenage years.
7. Beautiful: Beautiful is YOU, who you are as a person. I feel it’s become a necessity to remind my daughters the true meaning of the word “Beautiful”. Today, beautiful is a size 6 waist, plump lips and a perfect tan. Its definition is forever changing according to the latest fashion and trends. We can never keep up with it. We don’t want to keep with it. Physical beauty changes and fades but the inner beauty remains.
6. Virtue: There is nothing more beautiful and important to me as a mother than a young woman’s virtue. Virtue means to be sexually pure. Putting away my religious connection to this topic, I speak as a mother who loves them. I want my daughters to honor it because it will protect them from long term heartbreak and unhappiness. Virtue is pure, it shines, it is soft and it is precious.
5. Modesty: This is simple. We should take care of our bodies and respect it. Showing more skin is not a portrayal of confidence. It is the total opposite.
4. Time: Spending time with my daughters is very precious, especially now while they’re still children. Sometimes I get caught up with my endless house work or tasks that I forget to give time to the people that matter most, my daughters. Giving them time has been the best way to portray love.
3. Action: Words are not enough. If we want our daughters to be confident, loyal and trustworthy, we must be all those things first. Show them the way. The best way to teach is by example.
2. Education: Education has opened my mind to many things, expanded my learning and opened my paths to opportunity. Because I continue to acquire new information, I know what’s available and out there. As I gather all this knowledge, more opportunities become available and dormant talents are awoken. My parents instilled into me the importance of education and now I’m passing it on.
1. Be a Leader: I didn’t quite conquer my leadership skills till I was in my late teens. It has become clear to me as a mother how detrimental it can be for my daughters if they’re unable to lead and take charge of themselves. Mastering leadership skills will allow them to remove themselves from groups that are indecent and pessimistic. Being a leader of our own selves can protect us from situations that can cause hardship or harm.
Being a mother to two beautiful daughters has been nothing but sunshine to my soul. I’m still working on understanding my little humans unique personalities. Sometimes they scowl and throw a tantrum that is all too familiar. It’s as if I’m looking in the mirror…it’s quite creepy at times. My husband and I enjoy raising our daughters together. Aside from our marriage, our daughters have been a great fulfillment in our lives.
Wait! Before you go…
Writing this blog post has been extra special because I had the pleasure of collaborating with two other mothers to tell our unique stories about nurturing and loving our dear daughters. As mothers we stand together to inspire and motivate every daughter to stand firm in what they believe, be confident and be beautiful.
So, there are two other parts to this post and you can read it in the links below.
And finally my part, as you’ve already read “Raising our Daughters”.
Thank you for reading and allowing us to write our hearts out about our daughters! Did you find anything useful? Join us as we stand together to support our daughters and tell us of your experiences! 🙂